You cannot have good sex with a Christian. There, I said it. It had to be said. The experiences I’ve had with very devout Christians have all been the same. Whack! If it happened once, I would call it a fluke. If it only happened twice it would be a strange pattern. Three times makes it a rule. Christian women do not perform as well in the bedroom as non-Christians.
Before you start tearing my head off in the comments, let me describe the type of Christian that I’m talking about. I’m talking about the truly devoted Christian, who goes to church EVERY Sunday and bible study twice a week (or more) and brings up Jesus or God every time they have a conversation with you. If that describes you, then I’m talking about you.
Another disclaimer that I want to add is that I have nothing against devoted Christians. You have the right to be devoted to who or whatever you want, whether it be Jesus, Sweet Baby Jesus, or Santa Claus it’s your right. And I hold the right to A) not get involved sexually with you and B) write about how whack you are likely to be in the bedroom.
Now to the question at hand: Why are they so bad at sex? In my unscientific opinion it is because the guilt they go through mentally every time they drop their panties for you. Face it gentlemen, you cannot compete with Jesus. Jesus says that sex, lust, desire, etc. is bad. In the Christian world sex is only okay after marriage and to make babies. If you’re not married with this devoted Christian and you’re not thinking about kids, chances are the sex is going to be bad (Even if you were it still might be bad).
The most obvious objection to my claim is the stereotypical preacher’s daughter who’s a freak. My rationale for her behavior is that she’s not a devoted Christian, she just acts like one to make her pops happy.
So how do you know that the sex is going to be bad with a Christian before you have sex with her? First of all re-read the second paragraph of this article. If that doesn’t make it clear for you, you can ask her these 3 simple questions:
- Is everyone who isn’t a Christian inherently bad/evil?
- Do you think the people who aren’t saved before the rapture going to burn in hell for eternity?
- Are you wearing a chastity belt?
If she answers yes to all three of those question, I would suggest to be prepared for the worst sex of your life.
It is my opinion that this article is ridiculous. But I guess if this is your opinion, you’re entitled to it. So here’s mine. No where in the Bible does it say that sex is wrong. In the Bible, God ordains a time in which sex is supposed to be had and that is within the unity of marriage. In that union, two people can enjoy it whatever way they want, not for the sole purpose of multiplying.
In no way can one person make a generalized statement about such a large population of people unless you’ve experienced each and every single one. I think it’s safe to say that the women you slept with did not make it an enjoyable experience for you but that’s not every Christian woman. It’s hard for someone who is not a devoted Christian to know what a devoted Christian is. You’ve put everyone who goes to church on Sunday under one umbrella of Christianity and then blamed that as the reason for their poor performance in the bedroom. Many things factor into a women’s performance in the bedroom…ie how she feels about you, her level of experience, her level of comfort. This article is full of generalizations that I can never finish tackling so ill just end here.
Hey Emma. You’re right, this is my opinion and there are many generalizations in this article. Generally when things are outrageously false people laugh and brush it off. But if people get upset about it, that tends to mean that there is some truth in the matter. I think this article counts for a % of the population that I’m talking about.
See you can’t change the people. You need to change your approach. If you have those kind of weird experience with hardcore Christians. So excuse those people and try for some non-Christian.
Sex is not sin. Sex is divine. Sex gives life. Sex gives happiness. Sex is ultimate happiness. There is nothing more joyous than sex. In fact God has given us and we have to practice it wisely, you know to be careful about HIVs and all… That’s all.
I came across this article while at work. I started to smirk, shake my head and move on. I almost made it to the next article….but I didn’t.
As a devout Christian, let me say I NEVER forgot the things that I learned about being “on my game” in the sex dept. BEFORE I gave my life to Christ! My loving the church and knowing what Jesus means to me does NOT give me guilt when “I” am putting in the time to please my man. His happiness is my objective!
In order for her sex to be “whack”, she had to take her ques from the person steering the boat.
How devoted can they be if they havin sex with you?
I do agree that you may encounter a valid observation(s). I also agree that this is a huge generalization with enormous exceptions, including, fortunately enough for me – my beautiful and also god lover wife…
My professional observation however includes also Israelis faith believers who are Muslims or Jews. The aversive attitude towards the joy of sex is a silent disease among young families that either destroys marriages or leave them severely miserable.
The key, I assume, is the multiplication of time and education.
Thanks for your brave words!
Dr. Joe