Its hard to forget your past, especially if you are a person who likes to analyzes life and try to find out what you can learn from your life experiences. I believe that everything happens for a reason and so, there is a lot to learn from every relationship you have been in.
For a while, I tried to force myself to believe that there is no reason to think about the past. But I was only suppressing my thoughts and feelings. I felt guilty every time I thought about my ex, and I realized that I was doing more harm then good to myself. So, I have come to terms with the fact that it is OK to think about my past. I also believe that it is normal to compare (in your head), your past relationships with your current one.
I was discussing past relationship with a male friend who states that he no longer discusses his past relationships with his new relationships. He avoids telling the whole truth about his past because he feels that if he is completely honest with his new girl, the information will scare her away.
I agreed with him completely! I reassured him that there is no need to discuss his past with your new girl.
I was adamant about the idea until he told me something interesting :
“If the past doesn’t matter, then there would be no purpose for a resume.” I thought the statement was clever and it held some truth.
It’s important to talk about your past for several reasons:
1. First, you need to analyze your past so that you can learn from it. You can analyze it by writing your thoughts and experiences in a journal; or you can discuss it with a close friend. I’ve learned so much about myself in this new relationship, but its all because of what I had been through in my past relationship.
2. Most importantly, from a medical perspective, people should discuss their sexual history with one another BEFORE they engage in sexual activity. You should find out their number of partners, sexual practices: homosexual or heterosexual sex, history of STIs and use of contraceptives. These are important things to know before jumping in the sack.
3. Lastly, even though it is not generally recommended to talk about your ex, when your partner does talk about it, it gives you good insight on what type of person you are dealing with. If your partner tells you that his/her ex’s were along the lines of: crazy, drug addicts, manipulative, or abusers, guess what, most likely your partner has characteristics that attract those types of people, and if you don’t fit the description, RUN AWAY.
These days its hard to find someone with a clean slate. Its like Drake says:
“I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
That’s been with everybody.”
So at least be with someone with a descent past. Hopefully, we learn from our pasts relationships and make better decisions when choosing to be with someone in the future. Good luck.
Be blessed & spread love,