I don’t believe in god or reincarnation, which eliminates any hope of an afterlife. Basically that gives me the time I have right now to do what I need and want to do, which makes “time” one of the most valuable things to possess, right up there with good health and true love.
And so there you are, in your teens, waiting for your date, uncomfortably trying to make small talk with her parents while they silently judge your every move and mannerism. She saunters in about fifteen minutes late looking great, just fantastic. Possibilities of what may happen later come to mind and suddenly her tardiness is in the distant past. You’re thinking about the future and God willing, it contains you and her together. Now jump cut ahead several years. Life has been good to you. You’re in a serious relationship with her, madly in love.
Chances are good you’re still waiting for her to get ready. Sometimes it’s only a few minutes but others it’s closer to an hour. Now when she finally saunters in you barely look at her, you just want to get going. You’ve got your coat and hers and the car keys and you’re already on your way out the door. Of course you wind up arguing about it but nothing changes. It’s been this way from the beginning and will probably stay this way until you die.
Now jump ahead twenty years. That girl is ten years gone and you’ve had several relationships since then. Some were late but others were punctual. You’ve grown to appreciate that women can indeed get ready on a schedule, that it’s not a symptom of the gender.
You’re married now with kids of your own, waiting in the kitchen or hallway, keys in hand, children ready to go but growing very restless. But your wife is M.I.A. You scream up to her. She screams back. She’ll be right down. You don’t even wait. You take the kids and head out to the car before they get really crazy and start taking off their clothes. You belt everyone in, pull the car out, and wait by the door. She comes out and jumps in the car and asks you how she looks. The things that run through your mind should never be said in front of your children or to your loving wife.
You think to yourself, who cares how you look. For the time it took you to get ready you should look like a Victoria Secret supermodel. I no longer care how you look. I just want to leave. And besides, I don’t think I’m qualified to make that kind of decision, especially right now. Two seconds of gazing at you after waiting and juggling children for an hour will probably not produce the kind of response you’re hoping to get.
I’ve had my wife come downstairs ready to go, looking absolutely fantastic, stunning even, like “I have to have you this second” hot. But after making me wait for her that long I couldn’t even tell her how amazing she looked. I was so pissed off, knowing that we would be late, again, that my response was completely stifled. And it wasn’t intentional. My mind went wow but my mouth never said a thing because my mind immediately shifted to all the time I had just lost. Now if we were to revisit that scenario but have her arrive on time or dare I say it, early, then we are talking a whole new ballgame. In this scenario I can take the time to enjoy checking her out. Without the anger seething below I can articulate the wonderful things that are going on in my brain and in my pants.
Know this, being punctual might not make you sexier but I believe you’ll feel sexier because your spouse we’ll be able, no, they’ll be glad to tell you just how amazing you look and how happy he is to have such a beautiful and thoughtful wife. Seriously, wouldn’t it be nice to have an adoring if not lustful look on his face when you appear as opposed to the usual “it’s about damn time” expression as he hustles you out the door?
About the Guest Author: Greg Loudon
Greg Loudon is a professional illustrator who started writing fifteen years ago to nurture his creative soul and to keep from putting a gun in his mouth after years of soul sucking advertising boredom. He’s just finished his first book, “Why Men Cheat”, and is in the process of writing his third screenplay. He recently wrote the story for the winning 2012 Chicago entry in the 48hour Film Project. Contrary to most things you’ll read of his, he is a happily married man with three children, two dogs and a cat.
You can read Greg’s blog at gregloudon.com
The ‘Be On Time’ is a great and important topic; thanks for bringing it up!
You don’t have to be a fully devoted Freudian in order to agree that there are ‘symptom’ vs. ‘underlying motives’ and that being late is most likely an ‘overt symptomatic behavior’ and not a borne trait. I therefore tend to provide a common Relationship Advice for incidents around this area: be aware for major motivational or priority differences or feeling of unbalance power or a need to retaliate due to previous unfair emotional act.
I’m not sure if this issue is a ‘sexy’ one but it is definitely very juicy.
Dr. Joe
Good advice to a woman to be on time to give her man the time to appreciate her, I think all woman can learn from this.. I might add also how much more joy and happiness and ultimately pleasure, a man will derive from a wife who is adored. That even if she is a few minutes late, if he takes one minute more to fully adore her in all her beauty which, lets face it takes time. She will feel gorgeous and happy and a happy woman is a generous loving and sensual one, which no doubt will be showered upon her man. That when you arrive to the possibly but unlikely disapproving looks of the guests at the said place. You will be so busy imagining and enjoying the idea of what you are going to get up to when you get home that I can bet you probably wont even care :)
as a planner that hates being late almost as much as people keep me waiting – i love this post!
Yes! Of course, we should be responsible enough and come on time. That matters a lot.
This is an outstanding article. As a writer, single woman and professional tardiness is not attractive, ever. It comes across as “your time is not as important as mine” and even though you are on time, I feel you can wait. It’s these things that chip away at a relationship. That being said, that is also true for men who are late for their dates, or keep their wives waiting because what they are doing is so much more important. Mutual respect for each other’s time is critical. Still, it is important to look behind the situation and discuss what is going on. Did he get home late, she had the kids, who are tiny and need to be watched every second, and was not given enough time to get ready? It’s important to ask those questions of each other and to use one of Steve’s Covey’s 7Habits this is a great opportunity to “Seek First to Understand then Be Understood”. Looks like there needs to be some conversations in this situation.
Eve
http://www.Luvwriters.com
Awesome post. I think it is more womanly to be on time. I’ll admit that I sometimes got late during dates or important events and I understand that it sucks for men to wait, though they won’t let you see their embarrassment. It is our responsibility to come on time. Love this post! Keep writing Sir!